It happens to anyone who puts pen to paper (or finger tips to keyboard)- regardless of your experience or skill level, you feel like you haven’t an intellectual bone in your body and nothing to express. Heck, you can lock up when writing in your own diary or journal! You may have the writable, reportable experiences, but they may be too raw to organize and communicate, hence the freezing action I suppose. It takes immense effort, meditation and pranayama to quite those nasty voices.
I am back on the blog track and I recently returned back to social media after a several week hiatus. I was caught up in the throws of this disorder called “Senioritis” and it can be quite gripping. My last child graduated high school last month and ordinary events or rituals became “this will be the last time you ___, sniff sniff”. The month of April and May felt like one long roller coaster ride at Six Flags as we experienced senior projects, prom, Senior Awards, the last baseball season, final exams - and rumbled right into baccalaureate and graduation. What a spring 2012 was.
If you are not aware of it, there is a completely opposite end of the spectrum to the disorder known as Senioritis, and I was experiencing this version in tandem with the more youthful Senioritis. My father’s failing cognitive functioning skills (associated with Parkinson’s disease) started to drop off right before I had to place my mother in a nursing home as she is anchored in the severe stages of Alzheimer’s. So you see, I have had a lot on my mind and plate...and it was covering up my mat.
Some incredibly insightful moments took place during this time, and a lot of light appeared amidst the grey. When the time is right, I’ll be blogging about a few of them under the heading of Senioritis.
Metta and Ananda to you all yogis and yoginis