Saturday, December 31, 2011

Begin again.....from the beginning (part 1)

My Christmas holiday was great. I got to spend quality time with friends/couples that I have not seen in a while: one on one over dinner versus the hectic open house party. These dinners were so meaningful and intimate that I would not trade them for anything. Yes, the holidays were blissful... until I got sick. Not a major illness (for a time I thought it was an allergy based on my symptoms) but it turned out to be some kind of cold that refused to respond to any kind of medication or tonic. I was already nursing two guys on crutches (my son and husband--long story), so I guess it should not have been a surprise that I was running down.
The greater surprise came when I tried to keep a regular schedule of teaching, practicing, and working out. I was about halfway through the bug when I went back into the gym to work out and could barely drag myself around. I actually had a sort of epiphany and realized that there will be tens of thousands of people who are going to feel out of energy, lack inspiration, and basically suck wind as they try to create a new lifestyle and intentions for the New Year. This realization came as a surprise because I know that once I am in shape, those thoughts of the struggle and despair fade quickly as I begin to live in an upward spiral and I no longer breathe in that plane of existence...that downer, lifeless feeling that just sucks and drains you. As a result of this, I felt like I may be out of touch with new students coming into my yoga classes next week who are adding yet another layer of change into their lives. These students may be trying to get back into cardiovascular shape, incorporate a holistic lifestyle change (yoga) AND try to change their diet all at the same time. I have been feeling inept during these days of trying to get back into my groove physically and mentally, but I decided to hold fast to the thoughts and feelings to help me help others in the coming weeks of “New Year frenzy”. I also reminded myself that the older I get, the harder it may be to bounce back; if I have difficulty bouncing then many more walking into my class may face the same situation. 
It has been a blessing being a sickie during the holidays; there’s nothing that I would change. My intention for 2012 is to help current and new students feel healthier, happier, and more at peace, not fit into some pair of jeans, become a yoga rock star, or reach some number on a scale. I am not insinuating that was my intention in the past, I just need to say it out loud because so many people really need to hear it- and believe in it!
Om Shanti Om friends

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