The Light Is Different Here

Here? Where! 

Because my family has relocated to Nashville, Tennessee, I see and observe that the light  in this new environment is different.

I think this Edison Bulb from a light fixture that hangs in my new/old cottage really captures my observation in a visual sense. I actually have four of these fantastic light fixtures throughout my home, so I bump into them many times during the day and the light bulbs capture me in a moment of wonder and reflection.

To me, this vintage bulb represents the beginning- a pure essence of contemporary existence in an uncomplicated form. In my mind, it also represents the expanded consciousness of Thomas Edison himself. Imagine if we uncluttered our minds, what we might be able to discover, comprehend or invent in our own present day circle. 

The dawn or morning light is also different her in Nashville. We are three hours closer to the Eastern Time Zone, so my circadian rhythm immediately picked up on this deviation. Believe it or not,  I actually appreciate morning knocking at an earlier time- it's a gentle and encouraging arousal. I don't feel groggy when I get out of bed and I tend to feel more productive or together throughout the day.

Lastly, the light that shines from others in my new community has a significantly different glow.  I tried to explain it to my cousin the other day.... authentic community is what is shining here in Nashville. I am not disparaging my old home by any means, it just feels that there are a large number of people back home suffering, and that state of mind limits one to connect with others in a positive way. There are many valid reasons for the pain and suffering, therefore we lend a hand to support and steady those souls. Teaching yoga and meditation for years, I witnessed substantial improvement of the quality of life in so many people (there are many extraordinary facilitators back home doing the same thing at this moment) - it changed me and I miss so many of those arcs of light. My hope is that these arcs ignite larger flashes of energy that spreads like a lightning bolt across the Delta night sky. 

Life illuminated in mind, body and spirit---Trinitas.

Life electrified.

"Finding love or joy in unlikely places"

In essence, this thought or mantra is one of the messages I took home with me after my six week insight meditation course. For the past year, I felt myself finding wonder in the simple things and in the great outdoors, so I have been traveling a more mindful path than I could have imagined- before ever taking this course. I’ve found myself stopping to investigate  things like a four year old, and I have shared many of my deer encounters (while hiking)  with friends who sometimes think I am nuts to talk to these gorgeous and graceful animals. “Run up a tree and get away from them, you’ll get gored or kicked in the head!”, they say to me.

A fellow yogi passed along this poem today, I experienced the energy of insight and metta meditation when I read this poem... it’s kinda odd in some respects but it does drive home the point that all that is adoring or lovely is not necessarily clean and beautiful...or alive.

Life Shared.

Aimless Love

This morning as I walked along the lakeshore,
I fell in love with a wren
and later in the day with a mouse
the cat had dropped under the dining room table.

In the shadows of an autumn evening,
I fell for a seamstress
still at her machine in the tailor’s window,
and later for a bowl of broth,
steam rising like smoke from a naval battle.

This is the best kind of love, I thought,
without recompense, without gifts,
or unkind words, without suspicion,
or silence on the telephone.

The love of the chestnut,
the jazz cap and one hand on the wheel.

No lust, no slam of the door –
the love of the miniature orange tree,
the clean white shirt, the hot evening shower,
the highway that cuts across Florida.

No waiting, no huffiness, or rancor –
just a twinge every now and then

for the wren who had built her nest
on a low branch overhanging the water
and for the dead mouse,
still dressed in its light brown suit.

But my heart is always propped up
in a field on its tripod,
ready for the next arrow.

After I carried the mouse by the tail
to a pile of leaves in the woods,
I found myself standing at the bathroom sink
gazing down affectionately at the soap,

so patient and soluble,
so at home in its pale green soap dish.
I could feel myself falling again
as I felt its turning in my wet hands
and caught the scent of lavender and stone.

~ Billy Collins ~

(Nine Horses)

"Taste the beauty of being alive"

This is just one nugget of the thoughts, quotes and conversations that are being shared in my insight meditation series that began one month ago.

I admit that I am so thankful to take the leap and seek out a teacher to guide me through a more mindful way of life. There is a supportive peace in the room which arouses the curiosity and encourages further study of the practice. Yes, some days to sit for 15 minutes has been unproductive (I think, but maybe not) and focus on the breath entering and leaving my nose.  Its amazing how quick your mind can jump ship after three breaths, but the kind manner that you draw yourself back in is therapeutic in its own right; no frustration, no condemning, no 'give up' attitude. 

I believe that one of the most important aspects of a meditation practice is your 'comfortable seat' . If you can't sit comfortably on the floor then sit in a chair with whatever you need such as lumbar pillows, ‘o’ ring cushions, sturdy chair with feet flat on the floor.  If you can sit on the floor with a meditation cushion or bolster but start to fatigue after several minutes, then consider propping yourself against the wall for support and use blankets or a lumbar pillow. Don't allow your seated position to sabotage your meditation. 

Here is an abbreviated list of the books on meditation and mindfulness provided by my teacher for you to explore and fuel the spark of your mediation practice. 

Mindfulness in Plain English. Venerable Henepola Gunaratana, Wisdom Publications, Boston

Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness, Gunaratana, Wisdom Publications, Boston

The Meditator’s Atlas: A Roadmap to the Inner World.  Matthew Flickstein, Wisdom Publications, Boston. 

The Experience of Insight, Joseph Goldstein, Shambhala, Boston

Insight Meditation: The Practice of Freedom by Joseph Goldstein. Shambhala, Boston

Seeking the Heart of Wisdom: The Path of Insight Meditation. Joseph Goldstein & Jack 

Kornfield, Shambhala, Boston

A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life. Jack Kornfield. 

Full Catastrophe Living Jon Kabat-Zinn, Dell Publishing, New York

Wherever You Go, There You Are. Jon Kabat-Zinn 

Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living. Pema Chodron

When Things Fall Apart. Pema Chodron

The Places that Scare You, all three by Pema Chodron, Shambhala, Boston

Loving-Kindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzberg, Shambhala, Boston.

Insight Meditation Society, Barre Center for Buddhist Studies and Sharon Salzberg’s and Joseph

     Goldstein’s Home Pages<http://www.dharma.org/>

Insight Meditation Society is one of the major insight meditation centers in the US. Barre Center is loosely associated with IMS. Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein are two of the founders of IMS and a wonderful teachers.

Spirit Rock Meditation Center<http://www.spiritrock.org/>

Spirit Rock is one of the two major insight meditation centers in the US. 

Life Shared

Pursuit of Dhyana

Step Back from the Asana.

Set the New Year on a stable track

“But I’m addicted to it. I have been working on pincha for nine months, I can’t back off now!” Does that response speak to you? During this first quarter of the new year step back from the asana and be still. How? By practicing fewer poses...practicing restorative yoga...practicing seated poses to ground and prepare yourself. And do what? Meditate or meditate more. Why? For the peace, connection, and clarity from meditation feed your spirit and transform your asana practice. Join me in this path of enrolling in an insight meditation course, or some form of mediation workshop even if you meditate at this time. Scout around your local yoga studios as well as the universities and holistic centers to find a workshop near you and enroll in one.

Just as we ‘begin from the beginning’ occasionally in our asana postures, take yourself back to the bottom rung of meditation with a mentor or guide. I have enrolled in a six-week meditation course because I have found the power of attention by stepping back to an environment of simplicity to strengthen me in many ways. I have found this from my own meager (version of meditation for dummies, I suppose) and virtually unguided pursuit of dhyana. But now, I seek more direction and understanding from a mentor who has studied and practiced 

for many years, I guess I also enjoy being a student!

My class begins in two weeks and the enthusiasm is building, but I avoid building expectations. Good or not so, or indifferent, I should have a few blogs to document this adventure. I look forward to hearing about  your journey as well. 

Life Embraced

Beaches and Bolsters

You realize you are a seasoned yogi when you open the hotel suite door and spot a bolster on the bed along with a pile of pillows and think...”restorative pose!” The bed full of supportive fluff smiles back at you and whispers “How was that looong car ride? Didn’t have time to stop and really streeetch those legs out?  Too confined for a spinal twiiist? Awwww, poor baby!” This cooing and persuading persists as you survey your temporary digs and check out the ocean view.  

No arm twisting needed, as soon as the husband steps downstairs to take care of business you go to work:

*Blanket on the floor? √

*Bolster under the knees? √

*Pillows stacked to support back and head? √

*Washcloth over the eyes? √

“Siri, set my clock for 5 minutes please.”

Ahhhhhhhhh.

You quickly replace the linens and accurately reset the pillows in place, otherwise your husband would accuse you of having a pillow fight with yourself. Then you muse about how you can sneak that bolster down to the beach.......

Namasté

The Creative flow of Living, Writing and Yoga

I have come to the conclusion that these three things (living, writing, yoga) weave tight into each other, and I don't think they are very well or healthy without each other. There are essays, poems and novels that wrap themselves around me and hold me tight. There are people in my life who bring me that same support and warmth- and pretty much without fail, my yoga practice does too. My yoga holds me high, lays out a few cliffhangers and gives me a few giggles. 


I wanted to share a poem from a former student who had to relocate to the foothills of Arkansas last summer. I still think of Jennifer and her delicate grace. At her last class, I read this poem out loud during our Sun Salute A sequence... and it was magical! It touched so many yogis and yoginis in the class with smiles, serenity, tears and community.

A Yogi's Prayer

(Salutation to the Sun)

Arms held high I greet the day in salutation to the sun

Feeling beams upon my face I know the day has come

Forward bending I let go with gentle yogic grace

Lunging back with open heart I welcome life's embrace

With my back a plank straight and true I begin to turn within

Sinking now releasing on my knees and chest and chin

Cobra-like I stretch up feeling strength within the pose

Downward like a sunbeam I gain spiritual repose

Lunging forward easily feeling sweet release

Forward bending I relax welcoming the peace

Joyfully I stretch up to be all that I can be

Prayerfully I greet the God in you and the God in me

Namasté    Namasté    Namasté

Jennifer Veblen 2010

Writer’s Block

It happens to anyone who puts pen to paper (or finger tips to keyboard)- regardless of your experience or skill level, you feel like you haven’t an intellectual bone in your body and nothing to express. Heck, you can lock up when writing in your own diary or journal!  You may have the writable, reportable experiences, but they may be too raw to organize and communicate, hence the freezing action I suppose. It takes immense effort, meditation and pranayama to quite those nasty voices. 

I am back on the blog track and I recently returned back to social media after a several week hiatus. I was caught up in the throws of this disorder called “Senioritis” and it can be quite gripping. My last child graduated high school last month and ordinary events or rituals became “this will be the last time you ___, sniff sniff”. The month of April and May felt like one long roller coaster ride at Six Flags as we experienced senior projects, prom, Senior Awards, the last baseball season, final exams - and rumbled right into baccalaureate and graduation. What a spring 2012 was.

If you are not aware of it, there is a completely opposite end of the spectrum to the disorder known as Senioritis, and I was experiencing this version in tandem with the more youthful Senioritis. My father’s failing cognitive functioning skills (associated with Parkinson’s disease) started to drop off right before I had to place my mother in a nursing home as she is anchored in the severe stages of Alzheimer’s. So you see, I have had a lot on my mind and plate...and it was covering up my mat.

Some incredibly insightful moments took place during this time, and a lot of light appeared amidst the grey. When the time is right, I’ll be blogging about a few of them under the heading of Senioritis. 

Metta and Ananda to you all yogis and yoginis

28 February 2012

Surfing the Vinyasa Wave

Yes, I told myself to not fixate on asana for a while and look deeper in the meaning and relationship of my yoga. But, I can’t help it...the Power Yoga at Bala Vinyasa Naples was mind blowing! Feeling the energy of the Bala tribe this morning just set my practice into motion and I hovered and floated through class. I realized that it is not very often that I get to practice at a Baptiste affiliate studio, so my time on the mat seemed more sacred. 

Paddle boarding the day before set my perspective and attitude in such a positive tilt. I only wish I was able to jump into the ocean every 10 minutes to wash the enormous amount of sweat off of my body, I was really getting nasty from lotions and moisturizers on my sunburned skin. Self, make a mental note to rinse off in the shower right before a HOT yoga class and things will flow smoother for yourself, ok?

Bala Vinyasa is about to open another location in Coral Gables, Florida, so here they go into my contact files--in case I happen to visit Miami or come back to Naples, a gal has to stay on top of things, you know? The vacation getaway is nearing it’s end and with it, the sadness of have to leave this little piece of paradise.

 It’s late in the evening, but I still have the Bala shatki pulsing through my body.

26 February 2012

A Photo Journal Entry: BLISS

Well, I suppose that about covers it for today!

Namasté

“With a sheepish smile, she took herself out”

Say that three times in a row...

Ready? sheepish smile, sheepish schmile, smeepish schmile!

Not too long ago, I was subbing for a fellow teacher who had come down with mono. I don’t mind subbing for other teachers, especially if I am already familiar with the facility and know some of the students. I have become more comfortable with subbing over the years, but still, the students have their reservations about a sub! I totally get it, I was the same way not too long ago. 

The students began to file into class wearing those ‘deer in the headlights’ expressions, and I quickly began to explain that the teacher was out ill, and that hopefully she would be back next week. One student replied, “Did you say she was sick?”  There were some surprised and puzzled looks in the crowd, “Yes, unfortunately, the teacher has mono”, I responded, “Please keep her in your thoughts and maybe send some healing energy her way”.  “Wow, I thought if you do all this yoga then you don’t get sick”, someone said. Somewhat surprised, I replied, “Well... it happens sometimes”.  I thought to myself, “We are all organic, we are all human, and we become ill once in a while”.

The pranayama practice was flowing along and we began to transition into some Asanas. The students were moving through half vinyasas as I walked the floor, I stopped for a moment and realized that I was not able to take them through any Sun Salutes. Earlier that day, I was working on handstands and tweaked my wrist. Plank and down dog would not be possible because I couldn’t do one fourth of my Pilates reformer class that afternoon. My wrist flat out hurt and I wasn’t going to push it for Pilates or for Asanas. As the students came to Samasthiti (equal standing), I addressed the class that  any new students should feel free to follow along with others through the sequence as I would continue to verbally cue. I explained a minor wrist setback would allow me to do only standing and non weight bearing floor postures in class that night. As you may have guessed, there were more surprised and puzzled looks.

I began to cue Sun Salute A and then interjected into my dialogue, “ We teachers, we become sick and we do get hurt... even injured by more advanced yoga postures” I kinda shrugged my shoulders and sheepishly smiled when saying this, I knocked myself off of any pedestal I may have been perched on and the response was heartwarming. By their expressions, smiles and giggles, I believe that the students who showed up that night were at peace with the idea that teachers are students also. We are one in community and in practice, and that there isn’t a need for teachers to be on a pedestal (at least that is my opinion). I do understand there is some yoga drama and politics; desiring to be upheld, idolized and popular, I personally don’t think it’s healthy or necessary, at times it may be dangerous. 

Hmmm, Samasthiti...equal standing indeed.

Who doesn’t love puppies......and yoga?

A dear, sweet student of mine showered me with such an adorable gift that I am compelled to share it with all of you...each month. You guessed it, it’s a yoga calendar with a twist: Puppy Poses!

Our puppy model for January is named Hoover and he is demonstrating Virabhadrasana II (Warrior 2). Hoover has such an adorable drishti (gaze) over his front paw! 

Puppy Notes about Vira II:

• Strengthens the arches, ankles knees and thighs
• Stretches the hips and shoulders
• Broadens the chest
• Increases lung capacity
• Lengthens spine
• Enhances muscular endurance
• Stimulates digestion

Could the reason it is named Warrior because it builds focus, develops willpower and stimulates the mind- what every strong Warrior needs in order to succeed?

The next time you do Virabhadrasana II, think of Hoover and let yourself smile from the inside out.

Namasté

Begin again...from the beginning (part 2)

Allow me to flip the calendar back several weeks to November 18, 2011- the night of the Yoga Woman screening at Lifetime Fitness. I suppose I was too blissed out to realize that I left my yoga mat at the movie until the next morning when it was time for me to teach my vinyasa class.  I was frantically running around the house trying to find my mat and then I stopped dead in my tracks and said “Oh, no I didn’t.”  I called the gym asking if my mat had been turned into lost and found; nope, it couldn’t be found anywhere. With my head hanging low, I headed off to class and used a house mat to teach class. For 24 hours I fretted and then, reluctantly, went online and ordered another mat, as I could not stand the idea of not having my own mat. I wanted my old mat more than anything; there were just too many memories embedded in that dense olive rubber: workshops, faint pen marks from teacher trainings, and “aha!” moments. I dreaded that I would never see my old friend again, so I tried to stop the aching by ordering another mat. 

Two nights later, I was reunited with my mat! I stopped into the gym to take a class and someone had found my pal and lovingly propped it alongside the cubbies outside the yoga studio area; oh bless whoever that was!  As chance would have it, my new mat showed up at my front door the very next day (love that amazon prime free 2-day shipping), but I no longer need a new mat -I had my buddy back. I let that new mat sit in its box for seven days and I stared at it ...a lot. 

Something was a-brewing at my core and wouldn’t  let go. An inner calling suggested that I make a tangible distinction between the yoga teacher and the yoga student in me. This idea really ignited me because a handful of teachers in my community have either cut back on classes or taken a break from teaching in order to make more time for their families and their own personal practice. I had already dropped one yoga class and a fitness class off of my schedule this year. I was feeling good with the amount of time that I was teaching, but I just needed a compass or guide to help grow my yoga. I felt this symbol (new mat) would amplify my aspiration of an abundant student practice.  So, I kept it and threw away the shipping box!

Now, let’s fast forward to January 2012: my first few home practices on the new mat in this New Year brought back some old memories. Remember the ‘break-in’ period, the constant slide-y down dogs and triangles, and the peculiar odor? Not only do I feel nostalgic but also very uncoordinated and off balance. I am sensing that this fresh pursuit of the yoga student may assist the yoga teacher in me as the new yoga folks show up to practice for the first time ever, or the first time in many years. Some of those awkward scenarios will be fresh on my brain...I remind myself that these moments can be frustrating and disheartening because we are human and we have an ego and that I should find a way to communicate this to the class. Each practice I’ll encourage them to just show up and do what you can-when you can -and let everything else go. 

I really love being a student

Namaste

Love for the Teacher

I love that feeling I get when I read something that touches my heart. The words just click with me and makes me think “Wow, I mean really WOW!” The intention of the words just melt into my soul and the feeling stays with me for some time.  This feeling also makes me want to pay it forward- to pass this wonderful quote, poem, or passage on to others so they may share in the same splendor. So here it is, coming straight from a Christmas Card from one of my students:

“Christmas is

that deep feeling of peace 

that quiets all the noise, 

reminding us that love and gratitude

are what matter.”

I dedicate the second part of this passage to anyone who is a teacher. It does not matter what you teach, present or lecture, what matters is you possess the heart and loving kindness to share, advise and help others.

“You have a part in making

every season of the year

warm and wonderful...

and part of what makes 

Christmas so special is the chance it brings

to thank you.”

May you experience abundant love and joy this holiday season.